Let Love In
by Coco x
Summary: Post Keg!Max! Where did Jess go after the fight? What if hid dad's visit affected him differently? Lit. R&R please.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything, I wouldn't have to write fanfiction in the first place.**

**Note:** The story and chapter titles come from a song by The Goo Goo Dolls- "Let Love In". Background: Post "Keg!Max!" episode. R&R. Thank you!

1

-you wait, wanting this world to let you in-

His mind void of thoughts, he turned away from her and began walking. He felt numb. He had nowhere to go. Back to Luke's? He couldn't handle that right now. So he kept walking. His mind began to liven, the events of the week and the evening racing through his head like the gossip the town chittered away at. His memory sorted through the humanity that had defined her startling blue eyes that night: Playfulness, affection, worry, possibly care. Then they had been blurred by the tears that he had caused.

His jaw was beginning to ache where a punch has connected. His body stiff with pain, his head throbbing, mind racing and heart pounding, he approached th bridge. Subconsciously, he knew his wandering would inevitably lead him here. He leaned down to the water and splashed the cool liquid on his face, running his hand through his hair to clasp the back of his neck. He sat down on the edge of the bridge and sighed. He racked his vocabulary for the adjective to describe her eyes when he had glanced back, on hearing his name, and then turned away from her. Was it disappointment? He put his head in his hands and stared down at the water. Shit. How did everything get so messed up?

He couldn't tell her. Any of it. If it _was_ disappointment he had seen just minutes (or was it hours?) ago, imagine the look she would give his if he told her he wasn't graduating. The other thing he certainly couldn't admit, neither by itself, nor attached to the "I'm-not-graduating" missile. He tried to shake it off. The feeling like he was going to throw up. The memory of moments with her that brought a constriction to his chest. He couldn't even form the words from among his thoughts, certainly never out loud. _Quit shaking it around_, he thought. _Stop shaking it stop shaking around aroundstopstopstop_

"Stop!" He said aloud, the sound of his own voice surprising him amidst the organic silence. The single word bounced gently off the water and stirred the nearby blades of grass.

He sighed again. His options were limited. He could repeat the 12th grade, live another year with Luke- it wouldn't be so bad.

Or he could leave. Tonight. He could grab his wallet, hop a bus and go back to New York, not that there was anything for him there either.

And what about her. He wanted to make things right. Did she care anymore? After all, she had turned to Dean after their argument. He had left the bedroom to catch her and apologize. For the first time, he had been ready to say he was sorry. He had been on the verge of telling her everything. And then when he reached the top of the stairs, his eyes had been met with the sight of HIM comforting her; Her misery over what he had sone, what he had said.

And why shouldn't she? If Dean hadn't gotten fed up and broken up with her, would they even be together now? Then again, he would probably still be with what's-her-name, feeling emptier and emptier with every day that passed. His stream of conscience was getting painful and he quickly pushed her out of his thoughts.

But what of tonight? He didn't want to go home, or at least back to Luke's. He couldn't leave. Couldn't, or didn't want to? He was unsure of that as well, adding to his frustration.

"God, how did I screw everything up?" He asked the water. "Huh?" He demanded. Suddenly feeling out of place, he stood up. After standing still for a moment, allowing the strange peacefullnes of the lake to bear into his skin, he headed to the diner.


	2. Chapter 2

12

-and you stand there, a frozen light, in dark and empty streets-

He still hadn't told Luke. He stood at the counter adding up receipts, focusing on the insipid numbers before him, anything th forget the mess he was in. Flustered movement caught his eye and he glanced up to see her hurrying away from the diner. ON instinct, he dropped his pen and started after her. As his hand connected with the doorknob, however, reality consumed him. What would he say? Contemplating this, he returned to his receipts, ignoring Luke had just come downstairs. Tapping his pen of the counter he thought, _Now or never. Say something. Anything. _Fixing his mind, he rushed out the door in the direction she had fled. He saw her approaching the front of the church.

"Rory" he called out. She hesitated before stiffly turning around to face him, the sunlight reflecting off her pale skin. He caught up with her and she forced a small, pain-filled smile.

"Hey." He said carefully.

"Hey." she said. She looked down at her feet, across the street, anywhere but his face. "Is your face okay?" She asked slowly, referring to his condition after the fist fight.

"Yeah. Fine," he said. An awkward silence filled the space between them. She cleared her throat.

"I have to get to Fran's funeral." she said. Her eyes met his for the first time in their encounter. He always felt like she could see right through him with those iridescent, shining irises.

"Right." He said. She turned away from him and started up the steps to the church.

"Rory?" he said. Halfway up the stairs, she turned back to him. He approached the railing and looked up at her. "I'm sorry" he stated simply. His confession hung in the air for a moment before a look of hurt, followed by wonder and, finally, relief, passed over her face. She smiled at him, weakly, but genuinely.

"I'll catch up with you later, okay?" she said. He nodded and gave her a small smile. She wavered, still staring at him, before quickly turning on her heel and hurrying into the church.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own everything. I'm also a liar.**

Thank you for the reviews, I always appreciate it!

3

-you smile hiding behind a God-given face-

Jess sat at a table, utterly stunned, listening to the echoes of 'Suffragette City' bounce off the empty stools of the diner. His father- a man whom Jess had never known, whom he never had any desire to seek- had come to Stars Hollow and identified himself. Furthermore, Luke had already encountered him and hadn't said a word. He was partially indifferent and partially furious, neither emotion wielding enough power to consume him. His dead beat dad was real, and apparently very much alive. And obviously a coward. Why bother to track down the son you dumped 18 years ago and tell him you're his father, only to run out when you realize you have the most insignificant trait, the knowledge of one stupid song's lyrics, in common?

The overwhelming events of the week caught up with Jess in a sudden wave of lethargy. He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles and ran his hands through his hair. Blinking slowly, he took a deep breath and sat back in his chair, just as a light tapping of fingernails was heard at the door. He turned his head to see Rory standing on the opposite side of the closed door looking at him with- what? Apprehension? He quickly stood up, his exhaustion passing, unlocked the door and opened it for her.

She stood there awkwardly for a moment before saying, "Hi. Jess," somehow managing to break her words into two sentences. He motioned for her to come in, and she walked carefully to the counter as Jess made his way to put on a pot of coffee.

"This is old, so I'll just- it won't take long." He put his hands on the edge of the counter before him. "So…." He raised his eyes to meet hers.

"Jess, what's wrong?" She asked, worried. He shifted his jaw to the right, barely biting the left side of his lower lip. "And I'm not taking 'nothing' for an answer this time." She chose her words deliberately. He crossed his arms and leaned himself forward on the counter. "The other night…" she trailed off as the bitter memory of their last encounter flashed through his memory, and he looked away from her. "It wasn't you. At all. You were different. You were distracted." Jess sighed and stood up straight. He made his way around the counter, her eyes following him until he was behind her. He sat down on the stool to her right and looked at her, staring straight ahead. "Jess, I'd do anything to help you, but you have to level with me." She turned to face him.

He looked down at his hands and furrowed his brow, searching for where to begin. He looked up at her.

"I'm…I'm so sorry about the other night. What I did- what I said- it wasn't your fault. I wasn't trying to- I didn't mean anything." She nodded and reached for his hand.

Not unlike the way she had spoken the night of the party, she said, "It's okay. C'mon- tell me." Her eyes were so full of concern and pure goodness. He knew he was capable and he knew she believed he could do anything he wanted. The last thing in the world he wanted, next to losing her, was to disappoint her.

Breaking away from her imploring gaze he said, "I can't take you to prom." He looked back at her as confusion clouded her face.

"Wh-," she began.

"I'm not graduating." He dropped her hand and stood up, walking back behind the counter. He saw her shocked demeanor still faced the spot he had just been sitting. He poured a cup of coffee from the fresh pot and slid it toward her before leaning himself against the back counter, fixing his eyes on the floor.

"How did this happen?" she finally asked. He shrugged, which meant nothing, since she wasn't looking at him.

"I didn't go enough." She tilted her head and he could feel her looking at him.

"You said you had it under control." Jess didn't say anything. "You are so smart Jess. Why can't you see that?" He looked up at her, her eyes desperately pleading with him. "Why did you do this? Don't you care about what happens to you?" Jess felt an unidentifiable flow of feelings growing within him. It began as anger, but was quickly pushed out by this other swell that pounded inside his chest, stung at his head and caused him to inhale sharply. Taking this reaction as being too hard on him, Rory softened her voice. Ceremoniously reaching her hands across the counter toward him she said, "What do you have to do to graduate? Summer school?"

"The whole year," he said quietly. She nodded.

"So?" she kept his eyes, waiting for him to answer. He sighed and stepped forward to the counter.

"Luke's gonna kill me," he paused. "I almost took off the other night," he said before he could stop himself.

"So, is that what you're going to do again?" she said sadly. "Take off to New York? Where else, right?" she said, almost bitterly. He looked away, considering her words and briefly recalling his newly found father. "Jess?" she asked expectantly. He came around the counter again and sat down. The lethargy was starting to come back.

"I'm not leaving," he said softly. "I'm not going to leave you," he repeated, with more conviction. "Not if I still have you." She smiled at him. A real smile, the first he had seen grace her face since their awful fight.

"You still have me," she said.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but an issue of YM with Milo of the cover, and I didn't even buy it for myself.**

Thank you so much for the reviews. I really appreciate it, and I'm happy my story is being enjoyed. I'm going away for a few days, so I don't know how soon I'll update again- I'll try to get the next chapter up before I go. My love and best to all...

4

-But I know you're so much more, everything they ignore is all that I need to believe-

They sat quietly in the diner for a few more minutes before Luke walked in. He nodded quickly.

"Hey Rory," he said. "I'm going to change out of these funeral clothes, but I'll only be a minute, if you want something to eat."

"No thanks," she said. "My mom's waiting for me." Luke sensed they had been mending the tension he had witnessed earlier when Jess rushed after Rory, and he quickly made his way upstairs.

Rory looked over at Jess, with his chin supped in his hand. "I should go talk to Luke," he said. She nodded solemnly and rose slowly to her feet.

"I have to go." She gently touched his elbow and he looked up at her. For a moment it looked like she wanted to say something, but she just smiled at him and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze before leaving. He watched her go, her hair caressing her shoulders, her hands quietly wringing each other. Jess reluctantly stood up and turned to face the stairs that led to the apartment. Fixing his jaw, he made his way upstairs. Luke was standing at the sink, his back to the door. He turned when Jess came in.

"Did Rory leave?" Luke asked as he struggled to button the cuff of his flannel shirt. Jess didn't answer. He made his way toward the table and firmly placed his hands on the back of the chair. Luke looked at him, tilting his head to the right when Jess hesitated. "What is it?" he said. Jess lowered his eyes to the table.

"I broke our agreement," he started slowly. Luke leaned back, his arms crossed in front of him. Jess looked up and straight into Luke's eyes. "I'm not graduating." Jess pulled the chair out and sat down as Luke's eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"What?" Luke asked angrily. "I already knew you were skipping for Wal-Mart, and now this?" Luke began to ramble. "You asked me for a second chance, and even after all the trouble you caused, I still agreed, and you promised that things would be different." Luke walked to the refrigerator and took out a beer. He turned back to Jess. "I'm stupid. And you know, a part of me always knew that this- that you…" Luke caught himself and stopped short. Shaking his head he opened the bottle and took a sip. Luke took a deep breath. "All right. Okay. Just give me a minute here."

"I'm going to take the year over," Jess said suddenly. "If you'll let me stay, I'll take the year over." Luke met his eyes

"I don't know, Jess."

"Look, Luke," Jess said. "I never cared about school. But now…"he trailed off. "Now that they won't let me have a diploma, I want it." Luke looked unconvinced, and he turned to look out the window behind the sink.

"How long have you known?" he asked. Jess shrugged.

"A few days." Luke looked back at him.

"Why should I believe you when you say you're going to follow through this time?" Jess rubbed the stubble on his chin with two fingers and crossed his arms on the table.

"I met my father today."

"Don't change the- what?" Luke's eyes filled with anger again. "I swear to God, Jimmy. I'm sorry Jess. I should've known he would- I warned him-" Jess cut him off.

"I'm glad he came." Luke looked at him with questioning shock. Jess continued, "He's a coward. He left me when I was born because he didn't want to deal with me then. He barely said anything to me this afternoon before he bolted, because he doesn't want to deal with me now. He seems like someone who's dabbled in every possible blue collar job, searching for himself. In our brief encounter- I saw a lot of myself in him. He seemed like someone who has spent too much time not knowing what he wants." Jess looked up at Luke, who was watching him closely. There was a brief period of silence before Jess flatly stated, "I don't want to be like Jimmy."

A glimmer of price showed on Luke's face as he stared ate his usually terse nephew suddenly shrouded with an air of vulnerability. Luke looked away, though not before Jess saw his face.

"Okay," Luke finally said, looking back at Jess. "We'll give in another go." Luke stared at him for another minute before heading toward the door.

"Hey, Luke?" Luke turned back, one hand on the doorknob.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," Jess said with complete sincerity. Luke gave a quick nod and half a smile.

Opening the door and stepping into the hall he replied, "You're welcome."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but an account on the forum**

Thank you for the reviews- sorry the chapters have been so short- This one is definately longer, but unfortunately they will get shorter again after this, so I'll try to post two at a time. R&R and enjoy please!

5

-You're the only one I ever believed in-

It was late. Luke had some early deliveries so he went up to bed at nine, leaving Jess alone downstairs with his thoughts. The school issue was resolved- he would take the year over. For the most part, things with Rory were fixed, though he still felt guilty about their fight at the party. He still had so much to say to her, words he wasn't sure he could form. He slipped out of the diner and began walking the quiet streets of Stars Hollow. He let his thoughts lapse as he observed the quirky town he would call home for at least another year. Though he would never admit it, a part of him had grown attached to the place he had once described as Boonsville. After all, a without Stars Hollow, he never would have had Rory. He suddenly realized that his unconscious wondering had led him to her house. No car sat in the driveway but he could see her bedroom light on, creating eerie shadows on the porch after passing through the sheer curtains. He glanced at his watch--11:20. She had probably fallen asleep reading. He considered going and knocking on her window. They hadn't spoken since their talk at the diner, two days earlier, and he just wanted to see her. He realized he was still pretty shook up from recent events and he needed someone to talk to, or not talk to. As much as he tried to deny it, he craved human contact, probably because his childhood had been so deprived of it.

He sighed, resisting the urge to seek her out, and headed back toward the center of town. He didn't feel like going back to the diner, so he approached the gazebo, glowing in the white moonlight and sat on the top step. He looked up at the sky. The night was incredibly clear. He heard light, hurried footsteps and ignored the urge to look in the direction they were coming from. He knew it was her. Something about her made his body pay attention whenever she came near.

She was standing in front of him. He looked at her and motioned for her to sit down. She climbed the steps and sat next to him. Clasping her hands prayerfully on her knees she spoke.

"I saw you walking away from my house."

"I was going to knock, but I thought you might be asleep." A comfortable silence settled in the air between them as Rory looked up at the deep, navy sky and winking stars. Jess observed her lovely profile quietly. A familiar feeling swelled in him and he couldn't help but smile. As she lowered her eyes from the night sky, he quickly looked away, for fear she would catch him.

"Did you talk to Luke?" She asked. He nodded. She turned her head to look at him, arching an eyebrow. "And?"

"He's letting me stay. I'm gonna take the year again." She smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're doing this." He turned his head toward her, keeping his eyes on the stairs. "Trying. Graduating. You're so smart, Jess, you could do anything." He bit the inside of his lip and nodded. "I'm glad you're staying," she finished. He met her eyes, smiling at him in the dim light. He resisted the impulse to kiss her and reached over to brush a stray strand of hair off of her cheek. Her smile melted away and was replaced with worry.

"Jess," she said hesitantly. "There's something else, isn't there?" Looking up at the sky, he stifled a laugh of apprehension.

"Aww……damnit," he said. He turned his body to lean against the stair post. "I thought about leaving again after I talked to you outside the church the other day." He began. "I didn't know what I was going to say to you, and I was angry that everyone would be right about me being a failure and not being good enough for you."

"Jess, why are you telling me this?" Rory asked.

"I met my father that afternoon, Rory." Her mouth dropped open and her eyebrows elevated.

"Whoa. Shit," she said.

"I know." They sat in silence for a moment.

"Well, what did he say?" Jess shook his head, recalling the incident.

"Nothing," Rory looked away, staring at nothing in particular. "He said he was my father, I asked him if he was sure, he said yes, we sat down, and 15 seconds later he ran out the door. And you know what? I wasn't a bit surprised." Rory looked back at him.

"What do you mean?" She asked carefully.

"He ran out on me once before, why should he have changed? Anyway, my point is that, whether I like it or not, I have a part of him in me. He ran away, just like I was thinking about doing. I never wanted to meet my dad, but I'm sort of glad I did. I got a chance to see what I don't want to be, what I would become if I did leave. The running won't end unless I stop it." Jess felt her gazing at him in the cool night as her tilted his head back to look at the stars. He cocked his head to the left to meet her eyes. Leaning forward toward her he suddenly asked, "Are you afraid of anything?" She looked at him, surprised. She shifted her body to face him more directly, bending her knee sideways to lie across the stair. Her forehead wrinkled a bit as she considered the question hanging in the air.

"Yea…I guess I'm afraid of a few things. Something bad happening to my mom, or someone else…but mostly-failing," she admitted quietly.

"Oh, come on!" He said, slightly amused. Her eyes squinted slightly and her jaw set. "I seem to recall we already went over this," he continued, sensing her uneasiness. "I promised you that you would make it. Before you know it, you'll be strapped in a bullet-proof vest, crawling through trenches in the Middle East, and being the best damn overseas correspondent the free world has ever seen. I'm serious. The Emmy nods will be flooding in for your scathing and honest exposes. And Christiane Amanpour will be so jealous, she'll hire an assassin so she won't have to compete with you anymore." Her tension drained away and she laughed out loud. "And from your deathbed you'll reach into your pocket," he continued. "And out you'll pull the videotape of that bitch planning to take you out, which you managed to wrestle from the conniving grasp of your killer." She laughed again, tossing her head back, and he smiled, watching her face glow. "You don't have to fear failure."

Still tickled by his dramatic recitation of her future she said, "That wasn't entirely what I meant."

"Meaning?" He asked, his eyes fixed on her.

"There are other ways to fail. Failing at my career choice is one thing. Don't want to fail at the rest of my life either. At…" she trailed off quickly and looked away. Her unfinished sentence grabbed Jess's attention.

"At…what?" He asked intensely. She shrugged.

"Whatever. At anything," she said. He sensed her thought was still incomplete and he continued to search her face, curious about where she had intended to go.

"What do you want to do with your life?" She finally asked after a long minute. He leaned back again and inhaled deeply.

"I have no idea. How did you figure it out?" She shrugged

"I don't know. I just never wanted to be anything else. When I see other people doing it, it just appeals to me, you know? You just have to think about who you want to be like, what they do, and how you could do it better." His eyes searched the shadows of the empty gazebo as she spoke. Closing his eyes for a moment, he realized how tired he was, his earlier restlessness quickly fading. He scratched his forehead and glanced at his watch.

"It's late," he said.

"I think my mom's going to be at Sookie's for a while but she'll freak if she comes home I'm not there." He nodded and stood up.

"I'll walk you home."

"You don't have to do that," she said, her protest weak, as she desperately wanted him to accompany her.

"A young lady walking home unescorted? And in this dangerous section of town? No, I won't allow it," he deadpanned.

She smiled and stood up. As they started across the square, she instinctively found his hand and laced her fingers through his. The action surprised Jess for a moment but the feeling quickly passed and he gently squeezed her fingers. He felt it was strange, after the mess he had made for them to still be together, when he thought for sure he had blown it. The warmth of her hand calmed him, the most affectionate gesture they had shared since they made up. They didn't speak during the walk home, the silence cloaking them in a comfortable shroud of tacit feelings.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Nothing I own, if i did, Lorelai wouldn't have cheated on Luke, and Rory wouldn't be Logan**

6

-The answer that could never be found-

For the next week and a half, Jess hardly saw Rory for more than ten minutes at a time. He couldn't help smile at how flustered she was between studying for finals, wrapping up all her duties as Chilton's vice president and attending endless functions in plea for scholarships.

As Rory prepared for her graduation, Jess swallowed his pride and found his way back through the doors of Stars Hollow High to Principal Mertin's office.

"Well,well,well. Jess Mariano. I didn't expect to see you in this building again." He looked into Jess for a moment before offering a tight-lipped smile and opening his arm out to the side to beckon Jess into his office. Principal Mertin sat behind his desk and folded his hands in front of him as Jess stiffly took the cushy chair before him. "What can I do for you?" The principal asked.

Clearing his throat, Jess forced himself to meet the man's eyes. "I want to take senior year over. I'll start with summer school, if that'll help." Mr. Mertin nodded slowly, staring at the boy in front of him.

"Is this your own decision, Jess?" He asked.

"Do I strike you as someone who does things he doesn't really want to?" Jess replied. Mertin chuckled.

"No. No, I suppose you don't," he stood up and made his way to the file cabinet to pull Jess's folder. Perusing Jess's class schedule he listed, "English, physics, pre-calc, European history. I think it would be wise to take summer classes in algebra II and chemistry, and we'll take it from there," Mertin peered at Jess over the top of the folder. "We'll talk about electives later." Setting down the folder and removing his glasses, he said, "I want you to think long and hard about what you want to get out of this year,"

"I'm going to stick with it," Jess interrupted. "It it's the last thing I ever do, I'm going to get through this."

"I believe you. Flunk-outs don't come back unless they're ready to commit. But that's not what I was getting at. I want you to think about you're going to do with your diploma. Where you're going to go, who you're going to be." The life lesson pep talk was grating at Jess's nerves, but he tried not to let it show. Rising from his chair, Mertin said, "We'll be in touch soon." Jess stood to leave, but stopped suddenly when the Principal reached his hand out across the desk. Taken aback, Jess met his grip with a firm handshake.

"Thank you," Jess heard himself say. Mertin nodded briskly.

"Good luck, Jess."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Let me check...damn, still don't anything **

...reviews are nice...

7

-the moment you decided to let love in-

It was the night before her graduation, but Rory was still hard a t work, putting the finishing touches on her valedictorian speech. She was incredibly humble about the accomplishment, but inside she was soaring. Her week of studying, worrying and Paris should have left her exhausted but she found herself strangely exhilarated. Making her way to the kitchen for a soda, she saw her mom had fallen asleep on the couch watching Charlie Rose. She draped a blanket over her mother, turned the TV off, and made her way back to her room to review her speech again.

Outside, a likewise inexplicably exhilarated Jess had snuck out of the apartment after Luke fell asleep and made his way to the Gilmore house. Seeing Rory moving in her bedroom he crept onto the porch and lightly tapped on her window pane. She looked up from her computer screen, startled, and smiled when she saw him. She pushed back the curtains and opened the window to greet him.

"Hey," she said breathily. He smiled a t her.

"Hey. Take a walk with me?" She glanced back at her closed bedroom door. Hearing no motion from the living room, she hoisted the window higher and sat on the sill to swing her leg out.

"Move," she commanded.

"Hi- the door," he said, amused by her behavior.

"My mom's asleep on the couch- I don't want to wake her." She ducked her head down and rather ungracefully executed her escape. His arms caught her around the waist as she fell into him, attempting to get her other leg out. In the midst of the moment, she burst into giggles.

"Well, if that didn't wake her," he said.

"Shut it," she whispered, and taking his hand she led him toward the street.

"I'm surprised you're still awake. I thought you would have crashed after this past week," he said as they walked through the still streets.

"I'm surprised too. It'll all catch up with me soon, I imagine."

"What were you working on?" He asked. "When I interrupted you."

"Oh, nothing. Just a speech."

"For…?" He inquired.

"Uh, my valedictorian speech," she said quickly.

"Wow. Valedictorian," he said with an edge of pride in his voice. "I really don't deserve you." She looked up at him, and seeing his smirk, slipped her arms around him in a hug as they walked. They continued in silence, making their way across the lawn of the high school. "So, on a counter note of my completely opposite life, I went to see Principal Mertin the other day."

"And did he shoe you why principal ends with 'P-A-L'?" She teased.

"In a twisted and pathetic sort of way, I guess. I'm starting summer school next week to prepare for the fall term."

"That's great Jess," Rory said. They were crossing the bridge over the lake and they stopped to sit down.

"This coming from Miss Valedictorian."

She blushed. "I'm serious Jess. This is a good thing. I'm proud of you." He couldn't help but fell worthless even though he knew she was being genuine.

"What makes you so sure that I'm smart, because all evidence indicates otherwise."

"C'mon Jess, you've read books of every genre on every probable theme and you can talk about them in ways unlike anything I've ever heard. You have a perspective that's so original and thought provoking." He watched her in the darkness, the first and possibly still the only one who believed he was worth anything.

"You know," he said, taking her hand in his own. "Mr. Mertin told me to think about what I'm going to do with my diploma, and I've been thinking about what you said last week in the gazebo about what I want to so and how I can do it better…I think I want to be a writer." Rory's eyes shined through the darkness and she beamed at him.

"Jess, that's perfect," she said, squeezing his hands.

"I've been rolling around a few plots for a while, and I think finally going to put them to paper," he shrugged carelessly. "It might prove to be an awful idea, but, hey, I should at least try, right?"

Wordlessly, she leaned toward him and, cupping his jaw line with her hand, she brushed her lips against his in a soft, sweet kiss. He breathed her in for a moment before slightly pulling back to touch his forehead to hers. She turned her body to lean against him more and rest her head against his chest. Jess slipped his arm behind her, unconsciously pulling strands of her hair through his fingers.

"Rory?" He kissed her hair in thought.

"Hmm? She said sleepily. He looked down at her, her eyes closed and face content. He felt the weight of her body leaning on him and his heart pounding in her ear. His pause made her suddenly open her eyes and tilted her head to look up at him.

"I love you." The words escaped him and he felt a strain disappear from his muscles. A feeling he had for so long struggled to put into words suddenly felt like the most uncomplicated thing in his life. He watched her expressionless face and suddenly dreaded her reactionary statement.

Rory's soft reply resounded in Jess's head. "I know: I love you too," she smiled beautifully at him and tilted her head back more to kiss him under his chin.

"It scares me," he said suddenly in a hoarse voice, startled by his confessional mood.

"What?" Rory asked. "Love?"

"Yea," he rested his chin against her head and looked out over the lake. "I'm afraid of love- of loving- you," he furrowed his brow.

"Me too," she whispered. He looked down at her pale face. "I'm afraid of failing at love." Somewhere a bullfrog croaked and the wind gently rustled the leaves of the treetops.

"So, what do we do?" Jess asked finally.

"Well, I guess it's too late to let fear stop us." Jess felt his pain subside and a new rush course through his veins as her eyes met him and leaned his head down to meet her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Yea, no. I wish. Then I wouldn't have to write fanfiction to appease my sad little lit heart.**

8

-Now I'm banging on the door of an angel, the end of fear is where we begin-

"You stole my car?" Jess stared at his uncle, partly in disgust and partly in amusement.

"Hey- don't you dare make me the villain here. You were out of control and I was obligated to take action," Luke was in serious mode. Bulging eyes, impossibly high eyebrows and hand gestures galore serious mode. Jess stared at him blankly for what felt like an eternity, before smirking and punching Luke lightly in the shoulder as he walked to his bureau. Luke's tension drained as he realized Jess wasn't going to put him through a gut-wrenching argument.

"So, why'd you decide to give it back?" Jess asked as he rummaged through a pile of books. Luke shrugged.

"You went through with the summer school, and that Miss McClellan who was you're mentor gave me a good report," Jess cocked his head to look at Luke.

"Report?" He said, arching an eyebrow.

"Yes, report. And you know what she said?"

"I'll bet you're gonna tell me either way, right?" Jess replied, pretending not to care.

Luke ignored the comment, "She said you caught up faster than anyone she's ever seen, that you have an incredibly high I.Q." Jess shrugged nonchalantly.

"Yea, well, only a genius could bullshit the way I do."

"Well, I knew you were a smart ass," Luke said. Jess raised his hand in agreement to the statement. "Anyway, I thought it might be easier to visit Rory at Yale with a car." He tossed the keys to Jess who nodded wordlessly.

Jess followed Luke downstairs to the diner just as Lorelai walked in to ask Luke if she could borrow his truck a little longer than expected for a second trip to Yale. Jess watched their conversation/argument move outside when Luke noticed the mattress sitting in the bed of his truck. Jess smirked at their interaction, wondering how long it would take for his uncle to break up with Nicole and ask his girlfriend's mother out. His thoughts segued to Rory and their half-assed goodbye. She had been in Europe all summer and then had come home two days before, only to realize that her orientation was a week later than she had thought. Between getting all her stuff together for school and her serious jet lag, he had hardly had a chance to see her. In addition, their rendezvous planned for the night before had been upset when her grandmother took her hostage at Friday Night Dinner.

That morning, Rory had come to the diner to see him, but they were continuously bombarded by townspeople wanting to wish her well.

"Come upstairs with me, before you get hugged to death by everyone else in town," he had finally demanded.

"Jess, my mom is here. I have to go," she said.

"Two minutes, Rory."

"Jess…-"

"One minute?" She laced her fingers through his and smiled sweetly.

"I'll call you tonight, okay?" She had said. Defeated, Jess nodded his head. He had barely kissed her when Babette burst into the diner.

"Rory, sweetie! Come give us a hug, sugar!" Rory smile apologetically at Jess and squeezed his hands.

"Bye," she whispered.

"Jess," Luke's voice pulled him out of his wandering thoughts. "I'm going to Yale with Lorelai to give her a hand. Can you take care of everything here for a while?"

"Can't Cesar do it? Now that I have my car back, I was going to go see Rory."

Soon the three were en route to New Haven: Luke and Lorelai in the truck and Jess in his own car. Luke made a stop along the way so Lorelai could pick up a few more things for Rory, so Jess arrived at the dormitory alone. Her door was open and he could see her being mauled by the infamous Paris while some bald guy hung curtains in the windows and girl who looked about 14 stared wide-eyed and terrified at the scene before her. Jess knocked on the door frame. At the sight of him, Rory's dazed face broke into a smile.

"Hey," he said, taking a step into the common room.

"Hi," she motioned for him to follow her into her room where she quickly shut the door and collapsed against it.

"What was all that?" He asked, pulling the chair out from the desk for her to sit on.

"Paris is my roommate. And she has a life coach," she said, sinking into the chair.

"A what?" He asked, trying not to laugh at her obvious pain, "And what's with the 12 year old?"

"That's Tana. She's sixteen. And a little socially bewildered."

"Huh," he sat down on the end of her bed and watched her run her fingers through her hair.

"So, what are doing here?" She asked, focusing her blue eyes back on him.

"Well, Luke found my car- in his dad's garage where he hid it, after he stole it- so I though I'd come and help you get settled. Your mom and Luke should be here soon." She sighed and got up from the chair to sit next to him, bending one leg under her.

"Well I'm glad you did," she said taking his hand in her own. He leaned over to kiss her, when Paris suddenly threw the door open and blew in like a hurricane.

Jess dropped his head away from Rory's face. "Jeez," he muttered. Paris ignored them both and set out on a rampage about the size, layout and potential hazards of the room. Through the open bedroom door Jess saw Lorelai arrive, carrying several bags. "Your mom's here." They rose to meet her in the next room.

"Did another one of your roommates arri- Paris! Hi?" Lorelai said, dropping the bags in her surprise as Paris came out of Rory's room.

"Lorelai!" Paris hugged Lorelai, who awkwardly returned the gesture, "It's so good to see you again! This is Terrance, my life coach," Paris said, indicating the bald man.

"It's so nice to meet you, finally, Lorelai." Paris led Terrance into the bedroom, prompting Lorelai to say,

"So, Paris found an older, gay man…and she's at Yale?"

"Yea. We're roomies," Rory said, feigning enthusiasm. Lorelai touched her shoulder.

"At this moment, I'm really glad I'm not you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: We've been over this 8 times already. Pay attention, for God's sake...**

This is the final chapter! Thanks to everyone who made it this far with me- you are very brave. Literati for life enjoy, my loves!

9

-The moment we decided to let love in-

Jess hung back with Luke so Rory and Lorelai could say goodbye alone. When they were ready, Luke gave Rory a quick hug and walked with Lorelai to the truck. Lorelai looked back at her daughter and sighed heavily.

"What?" Luke asked.

"Oh, just-that. Rory."

"I know, it's hard to believe."

"My baby's all grown up, off at college to learn about things I'll never comprehend, and coming home every night to a bed in her home for the next nine months," Lorelai sighed blissfully again.

"Yeah, you know it seems like just yesterday- wait, what did you say?"

"Huh?" Lorelai asked, annoyed to be pulled away from her reminiscence.

"What you just said. About Rory having a bed somewhere new,"

"Yeah, her dorm," Lorelai said, dumbfounded by Luke's apparent freak out. "So?"

"Lorelai, she'll be sleeping somewhere other than under your watchful eye,"

"Sooo-oh my God! Luke! I wasn't even thinking that until now!" Lorelai cried.

"What are we going to do? Okay, I know- I'll pay someone to steal Jess's car so he can't come and visit her." Lorelai looked back at where Rory stood, smiling, talking to Jess.

"Luke, I think Jess will get a little suspicious if his car disappears for a second time," Lorelai calmed a little. "Rory has a good head, she'll be okay. And we talk a lot, anyway." She punched him in the arm. "Don't do that to me!"

"Your mom looks like she's freaking out a little," Jess said, looking back at the truck where his uncle stood. "And she's beating up on Luke," he turned back to Rory. "So, I better get going."

"Yeah," Rory said, looking away. Jess watched her for a minute.

"So, hey- could you do something for me?" He asked.

"Sure," Rory said, looking back at him. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a book and handed it to her. "What's this?" She asked. Unfolding it and flipping through the pages, she saw it was a notebook filled with Jess's distinctive handwriting.

"While you were in Europe, I decided to put down a few short stories I've been thinking about. I was wondering if you could take a look at them before you get to crazy with schoolwork, and maybe give me some notes?"

She smiled at him. "Sure, I'd love to. I'm confident they're amazing, though."

He shook his head. "I want honest opinions. Please rip them up if they really suck."

"Jess," she protested.

"Promise me," he said.

"Okay I promise. Brutal honesty," she conceded, folding her arms across her chest and hugging the notebook to her. He tucked a strand of hair behind her left ear and kissed her for a long moment.

"Talk to you tomorrow?" He asked, his hand lingering in her hair.

"I don't know, I might be busy at the paper shredder," she said, straight-faced. He smiled and kissed her again, breathing new life into his body.

"'Bye," he said, ordering himself to pull away from her. She caught his hand before it slipped to his pocket.

"'Bye. Love you," she said. He raised her hand to his mouth and brushed his lips against her fingers.

"Love you, too," he turned and walked away, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. Utterly high, he got in his car and made his way back to Stars Hollow as the sun glowed orange and shined on the pavement before him.

"_You wait wanting this world to let you in_

_And you stand there, a frozen light, in dark and empty streets_

_And you smile, hiding behind a God-given face_

_But I know you're so much more, everything they ignore_

_Is all that I need to believe_

_You're the only one I ever believed it _

_The answer that could never be found_

_The moment you decided to let love in_

_Now I'm banging on the door of an angel_

_The end of fear is where we begin_

_The moment you decided to let love in…"_

♥

_My best, until the next_

_Coco x _

♥


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